Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Question of the Day: Bond Casting

Well, I've given this some thought. What part would suit me the best in a Bond movie?

Well, to start with, I don't think I'd be a good Bond girl. I'd probably make too many suggestions about diffusing the explosive device, none of them educated, but quite opinionated. And whatever Bond I would be with would find that annoying.

I like my comforts too much to do a lot of squid-wrestling and I wouldn't want to be the kept chippy of some of those nasty old Bond villains. I'm not athletic and you have to be willing to be tossed around in a rather violent way and to be dicing with death every five minutes - exhausting to think about.

I'm not an "M" in training as I'm way too soft hearted. I couldn't be Miss Moneypenny, pining endlessly for Bond. No thank you.

I considered being a kind of cohort of one of the evil guys, but not really my line either, I'm too fair and I'd be seeing the good guy's point of view.

Then I thought, what about one of those scientists in the background, with the clipboard and the blueprints for the explosive device? I could wear a nifty white coat and amusingly unattractive thickly framed glasses that would do nothing to detract from my background-scenery-sort of ravishability.

But then I came to the conclusion that the IDEAL role for me in a Bond movie would be that voice that comes in towards the end. The female voice that is broadcast loudly all over the secret lair as the imminent explosion or detonation is counted down.

"Estimated time to detonation sequence... fifteen minutes and counting..."

YES! I could just call it in. I could call in the part from my bed, eating bon bons, yawning (no-one could see), but I could just do the voice over - brilliant!

"Estimate time to detonation sequence.... twelve minutes and counting...."

So.... the question of the day is... what part would YOU best be suited for?


Cowboy said...

Less than 24 hours.....and counting.......

Ra Ra said...

It's okay to be an opinionated Bond Girl! Remember Dr. Christmas Jones in The World Is Not Enough? She challenged and questioned Bond every step of the way through their Caspian Sea ordeal. I still laugh to recall that one line of hers, "Can you translate that for those of us who don't speak spy?"

I would like to be Andrea Anders from The Man With The Golden Gun. She was the girlfriend of ace hitman Fransisco Scaramanga. As such, she got to divide her time between living on his luxurious private island and afloat on his Chinese junk in Hong Kong Harbour. How cool is that! She wore glamorous backless gowns and diamonds just to go to the movies and the most strenuous thing she had to do was retrieve golden bullets from little straw baskets in Macau casinos! Oh,and seduce secret agents in opulent hotel rooms. Hmmmm, not a bad life.

Of course, she didn't come to a very pretty end. But conveniently, I'll overlook that fact for the purposes of this comment....

Ra Ra

Blog Princess G said...

Ra Ra, your encyclopediac knowledge of all things Bond never ceases to amaze me!

You would illuminate any Bond set with your peerless charm.

Cowboy, you have such things as timepieces out on the prairie? How civilized of you! Is it strapped to your wrist, or hung from a chain and tucked into the dusty pocket of your waistcoat?

Ra Ra said...

There's a whole subcategory of Bond Girls: the attractive legion of lithe young women employed at all the exotically-located hotels that Bond stays at. They seem to have alot of fun showing Bond his suite--opening closet doors, handing him messages in envelopes, and all the while dressed for gala evenings and looking nothing like what I've ever come across in hotel rooms. Hmmm, I suppose I haven't been staying in the calibre of hotel that Bond has.

Anyway, they seem like fun roles to play. Imagine---having only one line in a movie, to pour your heart and soul into "Message for you Mr. Bond." or "If I can be any service, anything at all..."

Ra Ra